Top Teen Geek Gifts for Actual Geeks
- Star Wars Princess Leia Dog Costume. $13.14 at PartyBell.com.
Don't get this costume for dogs who are snooty. Like if the dog is only into the Original Unaltered Trilogy and hates the prequels even though she only saw Phantom Menace and those long-winded YouTube reviews with the droll narrator, she can wear a different costume. This is for dogs who are more open-minded and cool about the whole thing. But not if they're fat, because the XL sizes are sold out.
- White Queen Legendary Scale Bust. $199.99 at sideshowtoy.com.
Sideshow Collectibles makes a number of “Legendary” busts over a foot tall. So that's why the White Queen is “Legendary.” No other reason. Limited edition of 1,250.
- +5 Shirt of Protection T-Shirt. $18.00 at kaboodle.com.
When it comes to T-shirts, a real geek wants one that even he or she can't understand. I get what a “Shirt of Protection” is (the shirt is magical and protects its wearer) and I understand what “-3 vs. Cold” means (the shirt is less effective in cold weather)… I have no idea what “Masterwork” refers to.
- Shark vs Narwhal 16x20. $40.00 at Etsy.
The nice thing about this print, by Jann VanZant of Long Beach, CA, is that once you give it to someone, they won't need anything else to decorate their house, unless they want a bunch of narwhal stuff, in which case Etsy has them covered. Professionally printed on “some bomb-ass paper that will last longer than a heavily armored immortal shark with a bazooka in a knife fight,” it also comes in an $80 24x36 “Leviathan freaking sized” version.
- Final Fantasy for NES. $699.95 at Annie May.
When today's geeks were young, we bought comics, thinking that our parents would be rich if they hadn't thrown theirs out. What we should have bought was a sealed copy of every video game we owned—because unopened Nintendo games are worth a ton. Annie May, an Amazon affiliate, still has one factory-sealed copy of the greatest role-playing game of all time: Final Fantasy. To play it, you need a Nintendo—either one of the originals (factory-sealed? $5,000.00) or one of Retro-Bit's backwards-compatible systems ($24.99). But then you'd have to open it, and you wouldn't do that, would you?
- Saga, Vol. 1. Signed by Brian K Vaughan & Fiona Staples. $69.99 at eBay.
Brian K. Vaughan has been well-served by development hell. Back in 2003, his sci-fi saga Y: The Last Man landed at New Line Cinema; five years later, Marvel talked up his Runaways as its post-Avengers franchise. One wonders if a big-screen adaptation of Vaughan's cerebral and emotional epics would have torpedoed the creation of more of them, like the latest, Saga, which may be his best. Unsigned versions are $9.99 on Amazon.
- Daredevil Born Again Artist's Edition. $140 at Secret Headquarters.
In comics, there isn't much in the way of format wars: you have your single issues, your trade paperbacks, and your hardcover collections. So when Marvel and IDW teamed up to put out Artist's Editions—12” x 17” books containing the original art as drawn by the artist (comic art is shrunk for publication)—it was sort of like BluRay. The most sought-after Artist's Edition is Born Again, collecting Daredevil #237-233 by Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli. This one is tough to get, but Secret Headquarters in Los Angeles has them; call (323) 666-2228.
- I Love Bad Movies Issues 1-5 Discount Pack. $19.00 at Etsy.
I don't know why Matt Carman and Kseniya Yarosh call their acclaimed zine about low-culture film I Love Bad Movies. Barbarella, Boxing Helena, Demolition Man… these aren't even bad! But ILBM is the only place where such films get their due, in essays from impassioned comedians, writers and critics. Best of all, it's a zine instead of a blog, laid out with great care and perfect for any basket around the house.
- James Jean Weyward Witches Drip Necklace. $900 at OVM.
James Jean is known for the dreamy, loopy covers he did for Bill Willingham's Fables—possibly the most beautiful comic-book covers ever—but since stepping away after the 10th trade, he's been everywhere. He has his own brand of mints; he exhibits at the Martha Otero Gallery in LA; now he has his own line of jewelry, OVM, of which this necklace is a highlight. If you're a geek with a woman in your life, don't mess around.
- Original Movie Prop - Gremlins 2: The New Batch. $9,995.00 at Prop Store.
Gremlins 2 was welcomed into the film-geek canon earlier this year with a BluRay release—and the BluRay, which will run you around $17, is a fine substitute for this one-of-a-kind prop. But if you can afford Lenny the Mogwai, get him. Gremlins 2 not only embraced the humor of Scream and Family Guy a decade earlier, it failed to connect with the masses… just like we did, before we became the masses.
That's it. A fun little article to put together. Happy New Year everyone and more soon about my next book project, House of Secrets...