One of my rules for this blog was always "no sports," because nobody wants to hear about a team that they don't like. (No, wait, plenty of people want to hear about a team that they don't like; nobody wants to hear about a team they don't know is the problem.)

But a billion people watch this thing--



--and so, seeing as I'm from New York, I think I have the right to talk about the NY Giants a little bit.

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I used to watch Giants highlights over the top of my cereal bowl on Monday mornings before school. Me and my brother would sit at the circular part of our counter with SportsCenter on and gobble up Honey Bunches of Oats, a.k.a. the sugar cereal most cleverly disguised as health cereal. (Honey Bunches of Oats has calories per serving than Lucky Charms.)

My favorite SportsCenter anchor, and the funniest by far, I thought, was Craig Kilborn:

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Therefore, I was quite pleased, in 1996, to learn that he was going to be hosting this new show called The Daily Show on Comedy Central.

Pretty much nobody remembers Craig Kilborn on the Daily Show, but I remember it being hilarious--they had a segment called 5 Questions at the end of each interview where a guest would be asked five quick, biting questions while the following graphic looped below them:




When I watched the Daily Show at night AND Kilborn was hosting ESPN in the morning, that was a little much. But otherwise he was great. Unfortunately, in 1998, he left the show. One possible reason, from Wikipedia:

• In a 1997 interview with Esquire, Kilborn described Daily Show creator and executive producer Lizz Winstead as an "emotional bitch."

Well, there you go. Good job, Craig. Kilborn went on to host The Late Late Show after Letterman, which I didn't care for, and didn't re-up his contract there in 2004. His most notable appearance this decade was in Old School as Max. ("What are you gonna do? Tell on me? That's something chicks do.")





Then, of course, there's Kilborn's uncanny and annoying resemblance to Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age. (Does he need that qualifier anymore? Or is he an actual rock star?)

Kilborn:


Homme:



These pictures don't do them justice--on TV, they're interchangeable. And although I love his music, Homme is afflicted by similar dickishness.

The upshot of all this is that at parties, people will ask me about something that I saw on the Daily Show, and I'll say:

"I don't really watch the Daily Show. I haven't liked it as much since Craig Kilborn stopped hosting it."

And they'll look at me like I have a hand crawling out of my eye:












By the way, I just put that on Flickr (so that I could resize it properly for the blog), and someone commented immediately: "Kool kreation...!!!". So I put up a disclaimer: it's from the forthcoming and surely fantastic The Eye.








And look, it turned out that I didn't end up talking about sports at all.