Vote!

mood: terrified
music: clicking keys

Reasons to vote:

  • the people who sit behind desks and sign you in when you vote are some of the scariest, most interesting people you will ever see in your life

  • assuming that you're pretty young, if you DON'T vote, you will prove people right AGAIN that the youth vote is a big lie and young people are too busy getting stoned to vote

  • you get to learn all of these strange names and parties on the ballot that you never heard of when you vote

  • you will find out the answer to the critical question: will Barack Obama be listed as Barack Hussein Obama?

  • you can pretend the vote machine is like an old arcade game

  • you'll feel like you're in the shower, but with no water

  • you can scratch yourself

  • you can walk through your old elementary school and see if it looks smaller

  • guys--you'll qualify for the attention of girls who wear the shirt:
    Vote Shirt

  • girls--you'll get to meet guys who fulfill the requirements of this shirt

  • you can cancel out your mom's vote just to mess with her

  • you can masturbate on the machine--NO! DO NOT MASTURBATE ON THE MACHINE!

  • you can leave all self-satisfied

  • when you sign in at the voting center, you can look at the sheet and spy on what parties people belong to

  • you can watch the live vote counts on CNN and be like, "Yeah, that's me, what"

  • you're good for the next two years

  • after you can get a sandwich

  • when you leave, there will be exit pollers there, and they will make you feel SPECIAL

  • you'll help us get one step closer to not needing stupid ads to tell people to vote

  • you can leave the voting booth and go "Yesssssssssss!" and people will look at you all funny

  • unlimited nose-picking

  • participate in democracy









This entry is part of Chasing Ray's Blog the Vote project.






Posted on Nov. 3rd, 2008 at 08:39 am | | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Comments


[info]yours_truly55

That really made me smile. I especially liked "you can cancel out your mom's vote just to mess with her". Your writing has a way of making me feel good no matter how down I am. The past week or so has kind of sucked for me...that was the first time I laughed whole-heartedly-not some forced chuckle at a joke my friend told me as a way to back up my should-be slogan "I'm fine"-in a while

I wish I was old enough to vote...that would justify all the ridiculous political disscusions I am forced to participate in, not to mention it will be great to have my opinion count for something. Oh well i guess it won't be long now.

By the way have you seen the album artwork for the Eric Hutchinson CD Sounds Like This? As soon as I saw it I thought of Its Kind of a Funny Story. At first I wasn't really sure why but then I realized it has a picture of a person with a map inside it.
Posted on Nov. 4th, 2008 04:36 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]iluvnooyawk

Awesome! Thanks for posting that!
Posted on Nov. 4th, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]houseofglee

Another reason to vote is that some places will give you free cupcakes afterward. Sure, that can be seen as bribery, but I don't see why-- it's not as if you only get free cupcakes if you vote for a certain candidate.
Posted on Nov. 5th, 2008 12:41 am (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]ned_vizzini

I have NEVER seen a free effin cupcake at a post-vote school bake event, but I believe you! Thanks for commenting.
Posted on Nov. 9th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

(Anonymous)

Great post! I loved this!

Sheila Ruth
Wands and Worlds
Posted on Nov. 5th, 2008 01:17 am (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]zensitive

I ended up doing the "YESSSSSSSS!" option.
A nice old man high-fived me.
Coolest feeling ever.

I have to admit, though...a cupcake would have been a close second.
Posted on Nov. 20th, 2008 02:51 am (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]ned_vizzini

awesome. I didn't think anyone would do that!
Posted on Nov. 23rd, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply